March Madness

Eating pizza together is a love language.

Let’s call this our 90 day check-in. After last year, we were definitely ready for 2021. I think everyone needed a hard reset. 2020 was a rough year for Vegan Traphouse and we literally “never would’ve made it” without you all! First and foremost, thanks for the love and support that you showed us. All the readings you booked, books you bought and downloaded, Facebook Lives you watched and texts you sent pushed us through and enabled us to keep going. We brought in 2021 on a beach in Florida with hopes that our new year’s destination would be the indicator for how the rest of our year will be.

So, we’re here. Pisces season and its time to see what’s up. How are we all doing? Are we eating well? Drinking a gallon of water a day? Have we been meditating and grounding? The first step in extreme self love, which has become the mantra of the present, is to be mindful of our physical, mental and emotional health. What do the Vegan Trap Queens do? We challenged ourselves to stop watching ratchet TV, to workout at least 30 minutes a day, and eat mostly raw and sugar free. You can start anywhere that feels comfortable but is still a challenge. The key is to set a goal that is not too high and still requires some work to reach it. There is nothing us humans like more than a real sense of accomplishment. Extreme self love is hard; the act of loving ourselves so much that we deny temporary gratification in favor of long term results every time can feel like an unreasonable expectation. Start somewhere big enough to notice but small enough to actually get done.

In numerology, 2021 is a 5 year. 5 is the number of destiny, discipline and change. The vibration of the number 5 puts us in touch with the part of our higher selves that personifies power, fairness and the ability to make good decisions. The turbulence in society today, the protests against injustice, the forced slow down caused by the quarantine, all of these are major changes that are leading us toward positive change and a unified collective consciousness where we accept our individual differences as expressions of The One, God, the Creative Source of all things. We will use this energy to create our new normal and be our best selves for each other and the planet.

I kissed a Girl… and I liked it

Miami Sweet Heat. 2015

There’s two sides to every story…ours is no different.  So, here’s a few details I never told Eb. First, I definitely knew that she was putting her number in my phone on the train that day.  I was like, “Sheesh, finally. I knew she wanted a G since Day one”. Second, I definitely checked out her booty. It was phat back then before she lost weight and I have always been a fan of the ass.  It wasn’t that though. Bae is smart, hard working and always willing to learn and it’s all of those things that helped me say, “Yes” to that first date. Plus, women are beautiful and once I allowed myself to acknowledge that, I got past the idea of another woman desiring me so openly, easily. I just had to wait for her to make her move and I was curious. Now that I know more, I know that our souls were connected already and all we had to do was meet each other.  Twin flames.

I too was kinda involved when we met but it wasn’t official so I was a free agent and since I’ve always been one to let my freak flag fly, I decided to try out this whole lesbian situation. I’ve always looked at sex like a treasure chest; so many shiny, valuable things to explore.  Eb is my first Girl Bae aka “My Hersband” and the boy she kinda stole me from was our first Boy Bae together but that’s for later. Our relationship was kind of a whirlwind. One minute we were riding the train home and the next minute we were living under the same roof. Months felt like minutes.  We were in such a bubble between weed, food and work, we barely had time for anything else. We talked and talked about our dreams and goals. We traveled every chance we got. We argued. We cried. We agreed never to go to sleep angry. We agreed that I would never walk out during an argument (a frustrating habit of mine).  Eb agreed not to yell (she gets loud y’all). We talked…ALOT!

Communication is the key to any good relationship and when I say we had to work at it baabyyy, we definitely did that. We traveled. More. We ate, alot, and even though I had been in relationships before, good ones, Eboni and I developed a partnership in that first year that has become the foundation that our relationship is built on.

Now… boys (insert dramatic dun dun dun music here).  As a polyamorous couple we decided that the first thing to do was to set some ground rules.  The most important one being if you see something, say something. In other words, if you feel jealous at any point, speak tf up!  The second one was no one is taking one for the team. Either all parties involved are feeling each other or its a no can do for the Vegan Trap Queens.  When we were ready, I called old boy back. It went something like this:

Me:  Wyd. I got a girlfriend now.  You gon come be our boyfriend?

Him:  What’s up.  So u gay now?

Me:  Obviously not and neither is she.  

Him:  Ard. (Alright for anyone unfamiliar with DC slang spelling)

Years later, he told us that he had felt a way; unsure how to please us both.  Men often aren’t comfortable expressing when they feel inadequate or confused. Hell, neither are some women.  Anyway, he came over. I introduced him to Eb. She was mean. He won her over. I’ll spare you the deets cuz we wanna keep it PG but let’s just say for a while, he was Bae. We left for Thailand.  He went to jail. And the remainder is definitely a tale for another blog post. We started Vegan Traphouse while we were overseas and the rest is as they say, history or more appropriately, Herstory.  I guess the point is kinda that we found love in a hopeless place and we wanted to share our love with you.